It fucking hurts

It seriously does

I thought I can already moved on

Until I noticed an awful big wave of sadness hitting me

I am sad

I am not depressed, but I am sad

Sad that you left me so fast

Sad that I knew this was a possibility that you would break up with me from the start of our relationship

Sad that I knew you give up easily, yet I entered the relationship hoping that you won't hurt me like this

I was wrong

I was gravely wrong

All it takes was me not treating you like a fucking princess for few consistent moments when I'm stressed, you will just leave me like that

It was not your fault, it was mine

I had embraced the possibility that your low perseverance will eventually be the downfall of our relationship

Yet I still had high hopes of being together with you for the rest of my life

Yet I still chose to open up my heart to you, thank you for graciously accepting my heart while we were together

I loved you, and I am moving on

There's no reason going back to you because people don't fucking change unless they go through some tough times that forces them to change

They need to have no other choice but change, since anything else will cause them pain

You're not going to change

I don't have trust in you

Trust is lost, love is gone, heart is withering away

No amount of new girls will be able to heal me

Even if that girl is perfect, I am not ready for her

I am not happy inside

I was sad

I want to write it in past tense so I condition myself that negativity is in the past, not present

I was sad, and now I am moving on

I was hurt, and now I am working on myself

I am canceling all my dates

Dates are just a sign of me coping with my heart break

I'm working on myself

No need to project my pain upon others

They don't deserve it

Like what my trainer said, I got to just enjoy life

Only when I am happy, that's when I am going to attract the lady I want in my life

I am choosing myself first and foremost

I am focusing on making myself happy again

I choose to be happy

I get to be happy

Right now is not the time to go back to dating again

Right now is to put my head down

Work hard as fuck on my SaaS project

Start carving out time to learn new skills

Implement this new skills on my new SaaS app launch next month

There are so many plans, I am not letting any women stop me

I know the lady who I need in my life now

You're hard working but you don't push through confrontations, that was your flaw

I need a woman who can push through tough times, so we can commit to work issues out together

I need a woman who is logical, so she can balance out my emotional storm

I need a woman who is open minded and listens and understands to her partner, and I will do my best to do the same too

These kinds of women are highly successful people

In order to attract them, I must level myself up first

I feel insecure when it comes to talking to ladies who are successful, because I am not as hard working as them, I am not as focused as them, I am not as driven as them

If I want a driven woman, I need to be driven myself

If I want hard working woman, I need to be hard working myself

If I want successful woman, I must be successful myself

Maybe I'll find the lady of my dream along the way

I haven't found her yet

I won't settle anymore,

NO MORE

I won't fucking settle anymore especially when I see a flaw that I know it will be a problem down the road

I must respect my own perspective

For all these traits I want in a woman, I must cultivate them upon myself too

That's the conclusion

So what I must do now is,

To use all these emotions and energy to push through

To breakthrough my barrier

I must breakthrough to the next level

Sorry ladies, I am not here to date

I got a future I must build