Sunday afternoon

I just finished dance class

A friend of mine asked if I want to go see a movie since her friend bailed on her

I said sure because I needed to do something for a change

I was in overall a lower mood than usual and could not point out why

The movie was Soul and it was an amazing movie

The main message in the movie I took away was

To just live and enjoy life

It was an amazing message for the awfully needed patient, me

I realized that I was too caught up in my end goal vision

I wanted it so bad

I wanted to make $10,000+ a month by the end of 2021

It is an audacious goal and I believe it is possible if I work hard enough

I wanted to work this hard because I wanted to escape my crypto depression

To think that if I had the courage to invest back in March 2020, I would have retired by now

This is the second time that I have missed the boat, the easy path to retirement

This was a super tough pill to swallow

The very next morning I had to revisit myself and truly come to acceptance that I have missed the opportunity

It was tough and painful

Because I missed the boat and I was trying the hide it, it started to show in my face

I was smiling less

I was overall in a sad mood feeling that I am not enough

After coming to acceptance of it, here's my resolution

I will show up consistently on two areas

  1. SaaS, software as subscription
    This is my life's true calling. I must march onward and keep on showing up every single day and do the work needed to take another step forward

    This will be my money tree, my business that will give me consistent predictable income every month
  2. Trading
    This will be my life's calling in the next decade. I do not have the skills needed to succeed right now and I must get good at it by the time I don't have enough energy to do other high intensive business activities

    This will be my money making skill when I get older

At the same time, I must not forget to enjoy life.  So I will:

  1. Keep on dancing
    I love dancing. Perhaps it's because this is to fill the void in my heart yearning for love.

    I want to express my love artfully through body expression with a partner

    Being able to touch a dance partner makes me feel a little less lonely while I seek for the one who I want to be with for the rest of my life
  2. Take time off to have wonderful memories on a trip
    I noticed I have been looking back on older memories a lot. This is a sign that I am not making enough wonderful memories now

    So I will make a point to get out of my comfort zone and visit different places

    I want to make more wonderful memories while I am living here on Earth before one day I won't have the energy to do so anymore

My time is limited, I don't want to waste it anymore

I will only spend time on things that matter

If I don't believe it is worthwhile for me long term, then I will let go

Here's to hope for a wonderful 2021

Show up everyday

Never run away

Keep failing, but learn to fail a little less everyday