We are about to dive in to the more technical section where we will learn how to listen
Here are a few beliefs around trust and understanding you need to learn before anything else
Greatest human desire is to be understood
The most common popular misconception, wrong belief
"You need love to complete you, whether it's self love or love from others"
"Love is everything, Love above all else"
I am here to tell you that this is bullshit
While love is pretty high up there in the human desire scale, even if I desire love deeply
There is a desire higher than love in this world
That desire is to be understood
Think about it for a second
How can you love someone when the other person does not understand you?
How can your love your parents when they don't understand your wants and needs?
You see it all the time
People go into relationships, doing their best to love one another
They break up in the end feeling like their partner does not understand or accept them for who they are
I never shared with my parents what my true desires are because my parents never understand me.
While I love my parents, I cannot truly love them.
I love sharing myself with my sister because she understands me
In return I feel that I can truly love her and feel blessed to have her as my wonderful sister
Being understood is more important than love or be loved.
Being understood builds a foundation called trust
It is in that trust foundation where love can thrive
Trust is the foundation for a great relationship between anyone, friends, family or loved ones
Trust is king
Trust is everything
With higher level of trust, others will be more comfortable around you
With more comfort, they will feel more ok being themselves
Comfort helps others be more vulnerable around you
Vulnerability in return will help you greatly in listening process
You will never share your deep dark secrets with anyone who you don't trust
Trust is essential ingredient in a great listening process
Trust is hard to build
It takes a long time and consistency of displaying trustworthy qualities to build up your trust with someone
It could take months or even years depending on how closely guarded someone is
So be patient with those you care about, take your time to build trust with them
Trust is easily broken
While it is very hard to build trust, you also have to remember that trust is easily broken too
Trusting someone means you are willing to open yourself up and share a more sensitive part of yourself
In other words, you are letting your guard down around them believing that other are not here to hurt you
If that sensitive part is violated or hurt in anyway, it will hurt you deeply, much greater than before, thus trust will instantly be broken and teared down
If that trust falls below a certain level, it will be almost impossible to rebuild it
So be very mindful of your actions and how it will affect the trust of those around you
Once trust is broken, it take much much longer to rebuild, worst case it will be lost forever
How to build trust?
The best way to build trust is simple
Get along with that person
Do you want to take a step further?
Listening and understanding helps to build and strengthens the trust
With strengthened trust, it allows the other person give you permission to listen to them on an even deeper level
This is a positive feedback loop
More trust allows you to listen on deeper level
Listen on a deeper level builds more trust
With that out the way, you are ready to learn the technical parts of listening
The tools that you will need to be a better listener
The techniques that you will learn to build a better connection between one another
Because in this vastly disconnected world full of superficial connections, it breeds a large number of people of depression
Just check out the comment section on youtube lofi music videos
What this world need is more deeper meaningful connection between one another
Listening is that secret key to a deeper meaningful connection
This world needs individuals like you to be a better listener